girl without a path (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} harm1020) wrote,@ 2007-05-15 21:03:00 |
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leaving your life
Preparing myself to leave Bulgaria is the strangest feeling. When I left the states, I always knew that I would return. In a very real sense, I didn't leave so much as took an extended absence from America. Now i've made a life in Bulgaria. I have friends, family, and work. The time has come to give it all up and return to my mother country. My stuff cannot be boxed up and stored at my mom's house. What is too expensive to ship must be given away, sold, or thrown away. The language that I speak daily will be forgotten after a short time. I am leaving the people, culture, food, and my life. When I come back, my students will have grown up and I will have missed all of it. I'm not ever going to live here again and I'm OK with that. It's what I want but it feels so strange to mentally prepare for something so permanent. The next time I come to Bulgaria I will be a tourist and not so much a local as I feel now.
I'm not complaining. Only mentioning that's what I'm feeling and it's not easy.
Preparing myself to leave Bulgaria is the strangest feeling. When I left the states, I always knew that I would return. In a very real sense, I didn't leave so much as took an extended absence from America. Now i've made a life in Bulgaria. I have friends, family, and work. The time has come to give it all up and return to my mother country. My stuff cannot be boxed up and stored at my mom's house. What is too expensive to ship must be given away, sold, or thrown away. The language that I speak daily will be forgotten after a short time. I am leaving the people, culture, food, and my life. When I come back, my students will have grown up and I will have missed all of it. I'm not ever going to live here again and I'm OK with that. It's what I want but it feels so strange to mentally prepare for something so permanent. The next time I come to Bulgaria I will be a tourist and not so much a local as I feel now.
I'm not complaining. Only mentioning that's what I'm feeling and it's not easy.
